Snethemba is a South African au pair on a small farm by the Belgian border. She recently turned 20. After high school, she wanted to become an au pair and now she’s found one! Her host family has three kids, Line, Nico, and Gini who are all between 8 and 11 years old. So far, she is having a great time enjoying the Dutch nature and exploring!
Why did you want to become an au pair?
Amanda: Why did you want to become an au pair?
Snethemba: I wanted to become an au pair to gain some experience, learn about the different cultures, and really just travel and get to meet new people because it’s really important to make connections as well.
A: And why did you choose the Netherlands?
S: I chose it [because] it was really safe and it was on my list of places I wanted to go. And I thought if there’s an opportunity that comes by and it’s in the Netherlands, I really think I would take it. And I did. And it came by and I was so happy.
Was it difficult to find a host family?
A: Was it hard for you to find a family? Had you been looking for a long time before you found a match?
S: I had been looking for quite a while. Yeah, probably I think 3-4 months. So yeah. And then my friend’s mom told me about Nina.care. So then I downloaded it and I started applying to all these different families. And at first it was obviously not easy. There were not really any answers and things like that. And I was like, “Okay, maybe maybe not. We’ll still keep trying and see.” And then when I did find a match I was like, “Wow, it’s really hectic!” And yeah, and when we had the interview it was really nice. And we all seem to click.
A: Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And did you turn 20 when you already were in the Netherlands?
S: I was 19 and then, yeah, I turned 20, yeah, just.
A: That’s quite young, right? Was it scary for your family that you were going to the other side of the world?
S: It was the first year because I wanted to go straight from school and my mom was like, “You’re not going, you’re only 18. We need you to experience life a little bit. So if you get a job in between, then after that we’ll see. You know, to help you mature as well.”
Did you have any culture shocks when moving here?
A: We talked about it a little bit already, but how was it for you when you just arrived? Like, did you experience a lot of culture shocks?
S: At first, it was quite different. Everything was quite big. Coming from a small town, well, there’s a lot. But yeah, as we were driving past, there was a lot to see and the… This is really random, but the rivers. And when we went over it, I was like, oh, my soul. This is a huge body of water. Like, we have rivers, but not like this really. Really like, well, flabbergasted by that.
A: But yeah, that’s funny. I love hearing, like, the cultural stuff from all the au pairs. And everyone has something different. For example, a few weeks ago I also had an interview with a girl from Kenya and, for her, she said that the biggest shock to her was that life goes on when it’s raining outside because she was used to when it’s raining just you stay inside, you don’t do anything.
What does a normal day as an au pair look like?
A: And well, you’ve been here for a couple of months already. What does a normal day as an au pair look like for you?
S: So, it’s getting up in the morning and then you work 2 hours in the morning and then four when the kids come home. We wake up and we do breakfast. Just set the table for everyone and it’s all good. Then we make lunches for the kids for school and then when they are done, then it’s just making sure that they go upstairs and brush teeth and hair, just to make sure that everything is done good and ready for school. And then yeah, when they have gone then it’s just just doing a little bit of light household chores, you know, just cleaning up a little bit. And then just wait for them to come back. And I’ll do some studying as well.
A: What are you studying?
S: Oh! The Dutch lessons on Nina.care.
What is your favorite part about being an au pair?
A: Oh yeah, with Meester Kees. And what would you say is your favourite thing about being an au pair?
S: Ooh, cuddles with the kids. And the little trips we go on as well.
A: Where do you go for example?
S: We go to a pizzeria in Sluis. It is so nice. And then we go in there and there’s a song that we always play. We play all the time. It’s called Kapitein Rooibos. Oh, my soul. When I first heard it, I was like “Hello. Is everything okay?” But then each time you listen to the song I hear more and more. And I’m like, oh, wait, I get this, I get that!
How is learning Dutch?
A: Yeah, I heard you also speaking some Dutch with Esther. Was that easy for you to adjust to?
S: A little bit, but also not really it was more the tenses, if you can call it that. So for example, the word “het,” we use it in Afrikaans. It’s for the, you know what I mean. And then here it’s like they won’t hit a bluff or something like that. Right? But yeah, it’s like, “het eten is…” I don’t know, “ready?” So you start it with it instead of it being in the middle.
And some of the other words are, like, different but the same.
A: Oh yeah, nice. It’s nice also that you’re taking the classes and then probably for you, like when you hear Dutch, like day-to-day.
S: Yeah, actually I find it so interesting to like, listen to people speak, and then I’m like ohh wait, I know this word. And then as I’m learning and stuff, it’s like thinking in English and then hearing it so then I can say it back in Dutch.
How do you deal with homesickness?
A: Nice! And yeah, how was it for you to be so far away from your family? Like, have you experienced homesickness? Or I guess it helps that there is no time difference right?
S: Right. Yeah. At the moment there’s no time difference, no. I was a little bit homesick at one point, but then you just phone your parents! And a phone call always helps. And I’m always like, “Okay, I love you. Bye.”
A: Yeah. No, that’s definitely like the power of the Internet.
S: Yeah. And they’re also they’re really encouraging as well. I mean, here also feels like home. So it’s like home away from home.
How was adapting to living with a new family?
A: It’s nice. Yeah, I’m happy to hear that. That you’re having such a. Good experience, yes. And then with the kids, do you speak Dutch or English?
S: We do both. So, Gini. She speaks a lot of English and she does it really well as well. And she’s teaching me some Nederlands words and with Nico and Lina it’s also Nederlands. So, it’s pretty good. And they’re learning English. So absolutely excited. Happy.
A: Was it hard for the kids, for the kids, to get adjusted to, or did they already speak some English?
S: I think it might have been a little bit, but Gini already [knew English]. As soon as I walked in through the door, she was like, “Hi, this is your room. Let me show you to your room.” I was like, “What? You’re only 8.” But yeah, it was really adorable.
A: How was it in the beginning, bonding with them? Did you find anything challenging or did it come quite easy to you?
S: It came fairly easy I think. Yeah, it’s just. It just flowed.
A: Okay! And yeah, how was it for you living with a completely different family? I know it was already said that they usually go with the flow, but maybe they have some house rules or ways they like to do things? How is that for you?
S: It was good, yeah. We just… There’s no other way to say but flow, you know? And yeah, we just talk about it and then move on.
Would you recommend being an au pair?
A: Okay yeah, you have very open communication in that sense. That’s important, I think. Would you recommend being an au pair?
S: Yes, I would. And I think it is a really, really good experience and you are meeting new people and learning about a new culture and just embracing that. I think it’s a really, really good idea.
A: Nice. And yeah, we also talked about this a little bit already, but do you have plans on continuing being an au pair? After your au pair year here is over.
S: Uh, yes, I do. I think going home for a little bit just for a visit and then definitely doing it again.
A: Nice, yeah, and I also think there are so many countries to experience.
S: Yeah, there are. At the welcome training as well, there was an au pair from South Africa and she had au paired in the US and she said it was good, but then the family wasn’t so nice and there were a few incidents. So obviously you just have to be aware and just yeah, keep that in mind. Like when you’re choosing and things like that.
A: Yeah, exactly. But also some au pairs are not aware that you can always let the agency know and ask for a rematch if you really don’t feel like there’s a good connection, yeah. And did you actually have much childcare experience already before becoming an au pair?
S: I was a babysitter to build up my hours for au pairing. Also just all my life I’ve had kids around me, so I feel like this is kind of just a straight transition. It’s just in a different area.
What is your favorite thing about the Netherlands?
A: And what do you like best about the Netherlands so far?
S: Frikandellen! Um. Oh, there’s so much. I’m on the spot!
A: Yeah. And so maybe this is a tough question. Is there anything that surprised you for example?
S: Uh. Haring, that that was. Yeah. That was… A bit different.
What do you do in your free time?
A: [Laughter] And how do you combine your social life with being an au pair? What do you do on the weekends, for example. Or I don’t know if you have to work on the weekends?
S: No, not all the time. No, I go cycling. I’m starting to really enjoy that at home. I did it as well, but then as I got older, not so much because there was a lot to do. But cycling is really nice and going to Waterduinen. And just being out in nature is very nice.
A: Nice, yeah. So you’re also a nature person.
S: Yeah, my mom was an environmental consultant, so [at home] it was always, always, always outside and going to different sites and things. It was really fun.
A: Cool. So maybe she’s a little bit jealous of you in the Netherlands and its beautiful nature.
S: Yeah. Yeah, sometimes it’s like, “Send me pictures!” Okay, okay.
What advice would you give to an aspiring au pair?
A: And do you have any advice for others that are looking to become an au pair?
S: Trust the process. And just to be in it. Be present in the moment and try your best. You got this! And have fun.
Do you have an au pair bucket list?
A: Yeah! Do you have some kind of bucket list of things you still want to do before you leave again? Or places to visit?
S: Places to visit. Oh. I do like Belgium, to go back. I want to go to Gent as well. But that’s doable. I went to Haarlem and I really enjoyed it. Well, it was raining [laughter].
A: Do you have plans on traveling to other countries as well?
S: I want to go to Italy and I want to go to Greece. Really. Yeah, Luxembourg as well. My mom also, when she was younger, au paired in Luxembourg as well. So it’s like a whole family of au pairs, which is really cool.
A: That’s super nice. Yeah. So she knows what you’re going through also.
S: Yes. So she did it. Her sister did it, and their kids did it.
Would you recommend Nina.care?
A: Oh, that’s very cool! Alright, perfect. And lastly, actually, I was just curious if you would also recommend Nina.care or just going with an agency?
S: Yes, I would. I looked before like when I first started the au pair process, there was an agency. It was a South African agency, I think, and they were Culture Care, I don’t know if you’ve heard about them? But yeah, I definitely would recommend Nina.care!
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
A: Nice. OK, perfect. And yeah, I don’t know if there’s anything else that you would like to share with other au pairs?
S: Oh. Try eating frikandel. They are so good. And yeah, I think the food here is really good.
A: Do you get the frikandel with the mayonnaise?
S: The speciaal. Yeah!
A: That’s an important difference.
S: Yes, it really is. When I first tried it here with Nico and Esther as well, he was like, “Some people in the Netherlands say it’s the worst food ever!” I was like, oh. And in my heart I was like “Uh, hello. Is it okay? Are we gonna eat this? Is it okay?” And then when I tried it I was like, “Woah. Yes, 100% yes. New favorite!”
A: Nice. So you’re going to miss that probably when you leave.
S: And the kids were like, but then when you go back to South Africa, you won’t get them anymore. I was like, you see? Another reason to come back!
A: Yeah, they’re gonna miss you. That’s also probably gonna be weird, right? When you leave because you’ve grown so close together.
S: Yeah, I think, yeah.
A: It’s also a nice memory to look back on.
S: Oh, yes. We were doing Just Dance the other day and it was so cute. All four of us were standing there. We were all dancing. And then I snuck off to the back and I took a little video and I was like, I’m going to try and make a Capcut of all, like the cute moments and the kids snippets. I think that would be really cool. And then at the end make a big video and just compile it and be like, bloop.
Snethemba’s au pair experience is unique – living near the Belgian border is an exciting opportunity that she can take advantage of to explore both the Netherlands and Belgium. Her travel goals don’t have to stop at the end of her au pair year in the Netherlands either because there are plenty of opportunities to explore more of the world as an au pair!